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Me? I’d be all, “Ohhh, massage me, Patrick!”—wait, no, that’s weird, he’d just sleep on me, hahaha! Serious tho, it’s slow, sensual, not rushin’ like Squidward on clarinet. Little strokes, big chills—surprised me how deep it hits! Like, “I’m still here,” from “Amour,” but with warm hands, not sad vibes. Oh, and fun fact—there’s this Thai style, twisty-bendy with oil, sounds like a sea snake dance! Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I’d totally try it, yellin’, “I’m READY!” ‘til Gary meows me quiet.

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Neighborhoods, my friend, are a patchwork quilt. In the dusty alleys of Old Willow, the smells of spices and the echoes of street music mix like a bad dream. I got a side gig massaging a local oddball – "Stupid, fat hobbit!" he kept saying when I hit his tense spots. Hahaha, classic, precious. They got street art on Grumpy Lane, too. Crazy colourful, like a mural of lost hopes and scents of old sweat – reminds me of that movie “25th Hour” with its bittersweet vibes.

Colorado Springs Gentlemen’s Club makes big donation to Stratmoor Hills Fire Department