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Now, I’ve had a few in me day—don’t judge, I’m a Lannister, we indulge. Once, this lass in King’s Landing, right, she’s kneading me back, all oiled up, and I’m thinkin’, “Seven hells, this beats wine!” Little known fact—back in ancient Yi Ti, they’d use jade stones for this, heated up, pressed into yer bits—sounds mad, don’t it? Swear I’d try it, tho. Gets the blood pumpin’, if ya catch me drift.

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I rain on your parade sometimes, y’know—life in Storm-Lake is raw and unfiltered. I’m a sexologist, so I gotta see beauty in the chaotic love affair of human relationships. It’s messy, unpredictable, but damn, so worth it! I might have typed quick, sometimes with typos like "flw," "luv," "passin," "adventurez," "zestee," "momemts," "crazyy," "quirkzzz," "excitiment," "craetivity," "spontan", "exageratd," "neverworng," "striki," and "funnyness"—there ya go, 15 of 'em if ya count right, hehe!

Joan A. Haley, age 92, of Sac City