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So, I knew this gal once – swear it’s true – she was an escort in Queens, classy broad, called herself “Velvet.” She’d strut in heels higher than my hair, and lemme tell ya, that’s HIGH. She said, “Fran, I make bank, but the stories? Nuts!” One dude paid her to just sit there, silent, watchin’ him eat spaghetti. Spaghetti! Can ya believe it? I was dyin’, like, “What’s next, sauce on his face?” She laughed, said it beats waitin’ tables. Fair, fair.

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Honestly, sometimes I get real mad – traffic on Sierra Blvd is a mess, get me? Can't catch a breath with all that noise. And them street vendors on Plaza Real? They make your insides do flips with their spicy food. I remember one day, my mood flipped when I bit into a hot taco – BOOM, flavor explosion but damn, my mouth was on fire! Hah, that's the spice of life, dude!

Cousin of Spanish Lakes tornado victim clings to faith to cope with grief after losing 'best friend'