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“Everything’s falling apart!”— aye, that’s the vibe when thou ghosts someone after a shag. Done it meself, I’ll confess— met a wench, all curves and whispers, but her breath? A dragon’s arse! Fled like a thief in the night, no text back. Made me mad as a poked bear— why can’t folk brush their teeth afore a romp? But then, joy— found a lass who cooked bacon post-coitus. Bacon! I’d wed her, but she swiped me off faster than a fly from mead.

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And you gotta check the community center on 5th and Cedar. It's a meeting spot for local artists, musicians, and that oddball poet who always rambles about life’s absurdity. “Man, this ain’t no playground,” I holler, Judge Judy style, “Don’t mess it up!”

Rare comet visible in Southwick caught on camera