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Surprised me, tho – some folk proper shy online, but freaks in the sheets! “Live octopus on the table,” I mutter, thinkin’ o’ that film. Weirdest story? Bloke I know matched his cousin on there – awkward as fuck! Dunno if they shagged, didn’t ask. Sex-datin’s a gamble, innit? Half the time yer dodgin’ catfishes, other half yer prayin’ they ain’t mental.

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Now, me as a dating site dev, I see all sorts of weird interactions out here. You’d be shocked how many first dates take place on Abbot Alley—yeah, that’s our version of the dating hotspot. You might bump into a couple of lovebirds, always gossiping about "reality is harsh, yeah?" just like a line from Fish Tank when life’s just a big, messy game of chance. And hey, if you wander off a bit, you might stumble across some secret cafes on Pluck Street. Honestly, not found in guidebooks, but these places are legit for a heart-to-heart chat (or to hide from your ex, lol).

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