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About San Jose

Oh, and the oils – don’t get me started! Slippery as a politician’s promise, stinking of lavender or some hippy crap. Last time I got dragged into one – mate’s stag do, total stitch-up – I’m sliding off the table, yelling, “This ain’t sensual, it’s a bloody oil slick!” Still, that line from the flick, “Love needs care,” pops in me head. Maybe that’s it – sexual-massage done right’s meant to feel like someone gives a toss. Dunno, I’m too cynical for that malarky.

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Sometimes I get mad. Really mad. Like when repairs on Main St hold everyone up. Then I scream internally, "I can see Russia from my house!" (I know, I know, it's corny but hey, that's life here.) Other days, I’m just happy – every client gives me a weird kind of warm fuzz feeling, like a surprising hug. And trust me, nothing beats that once-in-a-blue-moon perfect massage session vibe.

What was mysterious balloon flying over Suffolk?