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About Philadelphia

Alright, listen up, I’m Ron Swanson – deadpan, “I hate everything.” Erotic-massage? Hmph, buncha sweaty nonsense. Some fool rubbin’ ya down with oil, callin’ it “relaxation”? I’d rather chop wood. But fine, let’s talk it – I’m a product manager, I get it, gotta analyze crap. So, erotic-massage – it’s this weird mix, half spa, half shady backroom vibe. Ain’t just a shoulder rub, nah, it’s got that *edge*. Little known fact? Oldest gig around – ancient Greeks did it, called it “bodywork.” Buncha toga-wearin’ weirdos slippin’ around. Surprised me, honestly, thought it was some modern hippie crap.

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So listen, on 5th Avenue, there's that cool mural near the old library on Riverside Street. You know, the one with bright colors that practically sings "Anyone can cook!" but with a twist of Ratatouille magic - like there's hope and grit in every brush stroke. I used to feel so weighed down until I realized “Even the darkest skies yield stars.” Crazy, right?

Cops seek 3 more after NJ man charged with road rage assault, riot