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So I’m watchin’ *Tabu*, my fave flick—Miguel Gomes, genius—there’s this line, “She moves like a shadow.” That’s sexual-massage, man! Slow, mysterious, creepin’ up on ya. You’re lyin’ there, some stranger’s hands all over, and I’m like—am I relaxed or just paranoid? Biochemistry says it’s good—endorphins poppin’ off—but my neurotic ass is screamin’, “Germs! Too close! Abort!” Pretty, pretty hilarious, right?

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Golden Hour Massage and Bodywork is a queer and woman owned business committed to providing a safe and welcoming space to people of every age.

Now, lemme drop some insider scoop, babe: as a masseur, I tune in to the city’s rhythms. Even the carvings on the benches in Riverfront Park feel like they whisper, “Hey, unwind a bit!” And really, the way the winding Saco River flows by downtown – it’s like my favorite part of “Inside Out” where Joy is just bursting and all the feels are raw and real. I’d say, "Whaaat?!" every time I pass by, spoutin’ out a phrase like, “C’mon, let’s keep smilin’!”

South Portland city officials investigate tree cutting near Portland Jetport