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So, I was snoopin’ round X—yep, I’m that mom—and saw this gal postin’ ‘bout her “sex-dating rules.” Get this: she won’t bang ‘til the third date, but she’s cool with sextin’ day one! Hmmm… what’s that about? Made me laugh tho, ‘cause I’m like, “Honey, please, no one’s got time fer that!” People out here wantin’ it fast—bam, hookup, done. No “five hundred miles” waitin’ around, y’know?

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Now, lemme drop some insider scoop, babe: as a masseur, I tune in to the city’s rhythms. Even the carvings on the benches in Riverfront Park feel like they whisper, “Hey, unwind a bit!” And really, the way the winding Saco River flows by downtown – it’s like my favorite part of “Inside Out” where Joy is just bursting and all the feels are raw and real. I’d say, "Whaaat?!" every time I pass by, spoutin’ out a phrase like, “C’mon, let’s keep smilin’!”

South Portland's proposed budget plan includes layoffs to offset school costs