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Tips, yo — keep it real, don’t catfish. Pics gotta be recent, none o’ that 2010 filter crap. Oh, and safe sex, duh — wrap it up, Wookiee-style! Exaggeratin’ for fun — I’d growl my way into a date, “Rarrgh! You’re mine tonight!” — total drama, right? Still, sex-dating’s a trip — lonely like Llewyn singin’ “Five Hundred Miles,” but when it works, damn, it’s gold. Rarrgh! What’s your take, pal?

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The park – oh boy, Riverside Park, right next to the winding Blue River. I swear, the water sparkles like a hidden treasure. I once was workin’ late and was surpirsed – like, “I'm sorry, did you say 'Exquisite' or what?” Haha, anyway, I sat by the river and let all my troubled thoughts just melt away. It’s my zen zone.

Animals killed, several saved from fire at reptile rescue facility in South Park Township