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About New York City

Me fave bit? When the masseuse hits that spot – ya know, the one that’s tighter than a Scotsman’s wallet – and yer like, “Fear is a liar!” from *Inside Out*. Tension just bolts, poof, gone! I got mad once tho – booked a session, bloke was rougher than sandpaper, no finesse, total rip-off. Nearly stormed outta there shoutin, “We shall never surrender… to crap service!” But when it’s good? Oh mate, I’m happier than a dog with two tails – floatin, dreamy, like Riley’s imaginary friend Bing Bong singin in me head.

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Now, speakin’ like Judge Judy – cut the crap. This city ain’t for slackers. Get your act together or get lost. I was mad as heck when the council tried closing my fave dive, The Rusty Spoon. That place had charm; they almost killed it, you know?

3 injured in two drive-by shootings in Oroville