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About Phoenix

Oh, quirks? I mutter spells while swipin’—“Lumos, show me arse!”—daft, but fun. Exaggeratin’? Maybe I shagged ten in a week—nah, three, still epic! Humour’s key—bloke once asked, “You top or bottom?” I said, “I’m Gandalf, I STAFF!” Laughed his pants off—literally!

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I swear, some days this city's grit makes me think, “Don’t pee on my leg and tell me it’s funny!” It's like Judge Judy whoops out truth without mercy. You gotta love it for that no-bullsh*t honesty—even when things get messy. I been here a while, and I seen it all. Too many nights, man, when I was winding down from a long day, I'd stroll by the South Shore Park. There's this crazy view of the water, glancin' at the bridges, and it reminds me of the harsh beauty in "No Country for Old Men." “What’s the point?” you'd ask. Hell, the point is, life’s unpredictable, kid.

Milwaukee-area woman deported to Laos though she's never been there, doesn't speak the language