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Halleluyer! Chile, lemme tell ya bout these sex escorts—ooooh wee! I’m sittin here, thinkin bout my fave movie, *The Hurt Locker*, ya know, all that tension, them boys defusin bombs and sweatin like pigs in heat. Sex escorts? Kinda like that—high stakes, honey! You pay for a good time, but lordy, it’s a gamble. Will they show up lookin like a snack or like they crawled outta bed after a bender? “Every step you take could be your last”—shoot, ain’t that the truth when you hirin somebody off the internet!

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sometimes i walk downtown, near Miami Avenue, and think like, damn, this city got character – it's raw, it's real. You see kids splashing in fountains, old timers sittin on stoops reminiscing about days past. And, sometimes, i pretend I'm in a movie montage – pow! – with epic music breathin life into the concrete jungle.

South Miami-Dade brush fire fully contained, officials say; blaze no obstacle for NASCAR races in Homestead