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Now, don’t get me wrong, I ain’t no perv—well, maybe a bit, cackle cackle—but it’s fascinatin’, right? You’re lyin’ there, oils everywhere, thinkin’, “Is this legal? Am I a legend or a creep?” Total headfuck. Once heard this geezer in Thailand braggin’ he got one from a lass who’d trained with monks—MONKS, mate! Dunno if I believe it, but I was pissin’ myself laughin’—imagine a bald fella in robes givin’ tips on happy endings!

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Yo, so lemme tell ya about South-Lockport (us), man. This place is wild—like, one minute you're on Maple Ave and the next you're strolling by the crumbling yet soulful Warren Bridge over the lil' Riverton that cuts through downtown. I mean, seriously, it's a vibe. One more thing… there's this quirky alley off of Oak Street where graffiti screams art... and memories... it's like an open diary of the city's soul—ya know what I mean?

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