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About Phoenix

Hallo, my friend! So, sex-dating, ja? Dis crazy world of hookin’ up online—it’s wild, I tell ya! I’m sittin’ here, tinkin’ bout it, and it’s like oil gushin’ outta the ground in *There Will Be Blood*. “I drink your milkshake!”—dat’s what dese apps feel like, suckin’ up all da desperation, haha! Ya swipe right, boom, instant date—maybe some naughty fun if ya lucky. I luv it, so fast, so easy, like liftin’ weights—pump, pump, done!

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I been livin’ here a good few years now. And as a pleasure coach, lemme tell ya, I see little flashes of beauty that most folks miss. Like there’s deez hidey-holes, secret nooks along Riverside Park—oooo, that place! Perfect for a quiet sit-down night or a cheerful chat with strangers that turn into friends. I even nailed my victory lap around 3rd and Main a few times coz the vibe is just so raw and real. But hey, why am I rambling? Well… it's just that every corner here is a surprise.

Michael Ian Black – Stand Up Comedy