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I seen it, baby, I SEEN it! This one time, my cousin Shonda—ooh, she wild—met this fool on Tinder. Thought he was fine, right? Shows up, he’s got a unibrow thicker than my Sunday cornbread! She text me, “Madea, pray for me!” I’m hollerin’, “Halleluyer, get out that date!” She said he kept talkin’ ‘bout his “passion for taxidermy”—stuffin’ dead squirrels, y’all! Sex-dating fact for ya: 1 in 5 folks lie ‘bout their height. Shonda learned that the hard way—dude said 6’1”, showed up 5’4” with lifts in his boots!

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I been livin’ here a good few years now. And as a pleasure coach, lemme tell ya, I see little flashes of beauty that most folks miss. Like there’s deez hidey-holes, secret nooks along Riverside Park—oooo, that place! Perfect for a quiet sit-down night or a cheerful chat with strangers that turn into friends. I even nailed my victory lap around 3rd and Main a few times coz the vibe is just so raw and real. But hey, why am I rambling? Well… it's just that every corner here is a surprise.

Firefighters make quick work of truck fire outside Lockport Walmart