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About Philadelphia

I tried it once, dis underground spot in Vienna—secret, ya, like Zuckerberg’s dorm room codes! Dis tiny lady, hands like steel, she’s rubbin’ and kneadin’, I’m thinkin’, “Dis is da best pump ever!” Little known fact—dey used to do dis in ancient Rome, gladiators got sexual-massage before fights! True story, keeps ya loose, ready to TERMINATE da competition! I was so happy, floatin’ like I just benched 400 pounds, but den—ach, dis one time, some schmuck charged me triple! Made me so mad, I wanted to yell, “I’ll be back!” and storm out, but nah, I paid—gotta keep da peace, ya?

Location details

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so, check it: downtown’s on West Washington. yeah, West Washington St – bustling with folks who literally believe in change. i often stroll there, thinking “Billionaires should not exist!” like i holler every ____ damn day. near there? the St. Joseph River. beautiful, but mysterious, kinda like Zodiac’s chase scenes - the river's twistin’, hiding stories in its flow.

Energetic Kendra wants to run straight into your heart!