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Got this mate, right, he tried escort once – proper posh service, he said, cost him a kidney! Swears it was all classy, champagne an’ heels, but I’m like, “Mate, you’re deluded!” Happiness hit him hard tho, grin wider than a bantha’s arse. Surprised me, it did – thought he’d get scammed, not pampered. Little known fact, yeah? Some escort gigs got code words – “roses” for cash, sneaky bastards.

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Now, the parks – oh man, there’s a cool one on Pacific Coast Highway, near 7th St – perfect for families and farty picnics (ya know, the ones that literally have you laughing even when things get crappy). I’m always amazed how kids pick up on vibes that we adults miss. They mend broken hearts in the sandbox and build bridges, literally. “Let the hidden wounds be revealed,” I'd often think – almost like a line from my fav movie!

South Bay beaches look forward to more sewage-free days this summer