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Alright, so escort, huh? Trees, man, not the kinky kind—get your head outta the gutter! I’m talkin’ *Acer saccharum*, sugar maple, the real deal. As Dr. House, I’d say everybody lies, even these leafy bastards. Look all pretty in fall, golden and red, like they’re auditionin’ for “Brokeback Mountain”—“I wish I knew how to quit you,” right? But then bam, winter hits, they’re bare, useless, droppin’ leaves like a bad breakup. Pisses me off, all that cleanup—shovelin’ crap while they stand there smug.

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The neighborhoods are a spit-shine of contrasts. Old quarters like King’s Row have worn bricks and stained windows. New spots, like Crescent Heights, buzz with loud music and modern quirks. I worry it's all just a facade. “We must obey the old gods,” I mutter, like some damn incantation.

Timothy Snyder Has Seen Tyrants Like Trump Before