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Sometimes I’m jealous, tho – all these kids bangin easy, and I’m like, “Marge, why ain’t we swipin?” She’d kill me, ha! But yeah, sex-datin’s nuts – fast, sloppy, fun, and a lil sad. Like Adèle cryin, “I miss you,” I’m missin the thrill sometimes. “D’oh!” – it ain’t perfect, but damn, it’s a ride! Whatcha think, pals?

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You got the local park, Jackson Park, where the kids are slammin’ soccer balls like they’re in a championship – and im just sittin’ on a bench, repressing my inner Dr. Evil laugh: “One million dollars!” Man, the air there is as crisp as my favorite massage oils.

UPDATE: Gwinnett police searching for suspect after woman found dead in Snellville area home