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About Philadelphia

Lemme tell ya, I saw this one time—probs in Bikini Bottom’s shady corners—whore was dealin’ with some crusty sailor. Guy was all, “Pay up!” and whore just smirked, flipped her hair, and strutted off! Like, “Revolution is my art!”—straight outta *Carlos*! I was shooketh—happy as a clam at high tide! She didn’t take no guff, and I’m here for it!

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Now, the old clocktower on Riverside Drive? Man, it’s a beacon. I spend many lunch breaks chillin' there, watchin' people pass, thinking about family memories. My work in psychology tells me that landmarks like this, even if they’re just gears and bells, represent how time heals and binds us together. Oh! And don't even get me started on the Parkland – oh man, that park! Its winding trails in Elm Street Park made me so happy that I sometimes forget how many times I've taken the same shortcut, his mood lifts the whole vibe.

2 arrested in Smiths Station drug bust; baby placed in state custody