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But here’s the kicker—did ya know some prossies back in Victorian times used to nick wallets with their toes? Mad skill, right? Swear down, this one I met could probs do it too, shifty lil minx. I’m like, “How happy is the blameless vestal’s lot?”—straight outta the movie, coz I’m wonderin if she’s ever free, ya get me? She probs thinks I’m a nutter, quotin films at her, but I don’t care, bruv.

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Yo, lemme tell ya 'bout Smithfield (us)! This place is a riot of feels, man. I'm a dating site dev here, so I've seen all the love sparks and drama on these mean streets. I gotta say, strolling down Maple & Broadway feels like walkin’ on fire—just like oil burnin’ in the sun. "I must break you." Like, seriously, every corner has its own vibe.

Pork giant Smithfield's CEO touts growth outlook, minimizes threats from deportations, bird flu