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Oh, and get this—stats say 1 in 5 hookups start online now. Nuts, huh? Surprised me, but kinda dope. Fear leads to anger, sure, but lust leads to… well, y’know. Sex-dating’s a gamble—roll the dice, hope they’re hot, hope they’re sane. “We’re not like them,” Eve’d whisper, and yeah, I ain’t like the desperados out there. I’m just me, fuckin’ around, livin’ messy. You tried it? Spill, padawan!

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Man, oh man, sometimes I get mad at the noise in parts, but then I get happy watchin’ families at the Skokie Park, chillin’ by the glistening water of the North Branch River. And shoot, the parks! Like, oh boy, you gotta hit up the tiny hidden ones off Central Ave – best spot to clear yer head after a long day. I always say, “melancholy is just beauty with a twist,” kinda like the movie, ya feel me?

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