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Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here to talk escort, yeah, that sleek ride from Ford. Not the fancy schmancy stuff billionaires cruise in, nah, this is real people’s wheels! Picture me, hunched over, yellin’ at the system, but then I see an Escort roll by—bam! Takes me back. Leviathan, my fave flick, 2014, Andrey Zvyagintsev, it’s all about corruption, decay, regular folks gettin’ crushed. “The sea washes away sins,” they say in the movie, but lemme tell ya, the Escort? It don’t wash away nothin’—it hauls your broke ass through the muck!

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You know, Sitka is a whole vibe, man. Let me tell ya, as I sit here giving aches a swift goodbye at my humble massage parlor on Lincoln Ave, I'm thinkin’ bout this place like it's a soulful character in one of life’s epics—kinda like that movie, The Secret in Their Eyes. “Perhaps the saddest aspect of love is that not only that it cannot last forever, but that heartbreak is soon forgotten,” I mumble sometimes while rubbin’ out the knots in a weary traveler’s back.

Investigation finds crash of an Air Station Sitka helicopter was ‘controlled flight into terrain’