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Now, lemme drop some real talk—did ya know back in the ‘80s, hookers used to signal with red bandanas? Little code, brother, like a wrestler’s taunt! Ain’t nobody talkin’ bout that no more—forgotten history, jack! I’m hyped, tho, ‘cause this chick’s got sass, tellin’ me, “Cash up front, big man.” I’m like, “Brother, I got the gold, whatchu got for the champ?”

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Right off, ya got Main Street. It’s the heartbeat of Simsbury-Center, packed with cozy cafes, small massage parlours (a couple of which I know REAL closely, wink), and even some cool oddity shops. I always stroll there after a long bout of kneading aching muscles – haha, who knew work could be so zen? Now, I'll bore ya with my fav spot: Elm Park. Leaves crunch, kids scream happily; it’s a riot. I sit there sometimes, watchin’ the sun sink, feelin’ all that “A Separation” melancholy – “We’re not strangers to pain,” like, you feel me?

Douglas L. JOHNSON