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Love it, tho – gets my juice pumpin’! Always somethin’ nuts happenin’. Heard this story once – some escort crew in the 90s, guardin’ a mob boss’s cash. Idiots lost it to a rival gang! Can ya believe that? Fucked up big time – got me laughin’ my ass off. But real talk, escort ain’t no joke. Takes guts. Takes balls. Like, you’re out there, dodgin’ psychos, thinkin’ “This is how it ends?”

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In Simpsonville, it ain't all posh and paved, oh no! Toward the north, near Crestview Lane, you'll find our lush Simpsonville Park. I swear on my battered walking stick—nature's haven, sprawling trees and a trickling creek. Perfect spot to unwind, maybe even unleash a bit of inner sensuality; an honest sexologist's paradise! You see, I’ve seen couples share secrets there, whispered seductions under the moon's glow… and yes, sometimes weird, awkward moments too! Haha, life's a mix, like that flick, Children of Men: "It’s not my movie, but I’m in it."

Five fun things to do this weekend in Fountain Inn, Simpsonville