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I’m pissed tho—some dude tried rippin’ me off, actin’ like he’s pimpin’ but he’s just a loudmouth. “Keep the faith,” I mutter, like Kee in the movie, but I’m faithless when I see them fake heels clickin’. Then—bam!—there she is, smokin’ a cig, lookin’ like she owns the chaos. Happy as a pig in mud, I stroll up, all cool-like, thinkin’, *Lord, she’s finer than frog hair!* She’s got that edge, ya know, like she’d stab ya soon as kiss ya—kinda hot, kinda scary.

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Among those charged was Michael Wolfe, 49, who is the Pastor at Advent United Methodist Church in Simpsonville.

And man, there’s humor in every nook and cranny! Back when I was strutting down Oak Street (give it a zing, don’t be a square), I met a couple debating the best cuddle positions—ridiculous, hilarious, and oddly profound. That’s Simpsonville, where even debates about snuggles can feel like epic discourses of love and rebellion.

Miracle Hill Ministries opens first Upstate boutique-style thrift store