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About New York City

But den – ugh – some places, dey overdo it, ya know? Charge ya 200 bucks for “special touch,” and ya leave broke and sticky. Pissed me off! One time, guy bragged he invented “tantric rub” – liar! Tantra’s from India, 5th century, ya dumbass! I yelled at him, “You no respect da roots!” He ran off, ha! Lightbulb! People fake it too much dese days.

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So here goes: at 7th & Elm, there's this quirky little cafe, "Mellow Brew." I always stop by after a long day massaging folks. The scent of coffee makes my muscles sing like, “Spring Breakers, baby!” isn’t it all just, verbis gratia, tan simpliciter brilliant? And oh, who can forget Riverside Park? Not to mention the picturesque River Lilt that glides past, making me think of crazy movie scenes from that flick, Spring Breakers—like “holy shit, it’s a madhouse out there,” ya feel me?

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