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Alright, y’all, listen up! I’m Larry the Cable Guy – Git-R-Done! – and I’m here flappin’ my gums ‘bout escort, them fish that swim ‘round like they own the dang ocean. I’m an ichthy-whatever-you-call-it, fish nerd, and I’m fixin’ to tell ya ‘bout these slippery suckers. Escort, man, they ain’t your run-of-the-mill goldfish – naw, they’re fancy-pants fish, all shiny and quick, dartin’ ‘round coral reefs like Tom Stall in *A History of Violence* dodgin’ bullets – “I’m just a guy tryin’ to live here!”

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Never skip on Fountain Park – yup, that free-spirited green gem near the buzzing river. I swear the river flows just like our dreams, twisting and turning – like a scene straight outta Requiem for a Dream, real mind-bendy stuff! I once fixed a bug as I sat watching kids splash around, thinking, “Chaos, huh?” And nope, that's not a glitch, it's life!

Allan Gilbert resigns as Siloam Springs’ city administrator one week after reprimand