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I was proper shocked, yeah, when I heard this one story. Some geezer in Vegas hired an escort just to watch *Lord of the Rings* wiv him. Three bloody hours! She sat there, didn’t moan once. Respect, innit? Makes me happy, that – someone out there gettin’ paid to nerd out. But then I got vexed, ‘cos why ain’t I got that hustle? Is it ‘cos I is black? Nah, probs ‘cos I’d talk through the whole film, bruv.

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I've got my fav hangout spots too. There's a quirky little park near a twist in the road – I think it’s called Crescent Park? Or maybe it's just that it has a crescent shape – who really knows! Its vibe cranks up your day instantly. And guess what? I've even set up a mini outdoor massage corner there once upon a time – true story! People thought I was off my rocker, but hey, that’s just how we roll here.

Photos of Hurricane Milton damage on Siesta Key the day after landfall