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Now, I reckon it’s about connection, innit? Not just a quick fumble—though, cor, that’s tempting! It’s slow, teasing, like Satine swaying in that red dress. You’ve got yer nerve endings buzzing, heart going *thump-thump* like a drum at Eton. I tried it once—don’t tell the missus!—and bugger me, it was *mirabile dictu*, bloody marvelous! The lass was all "let’s awaken yer senses," and I’m lying there, thinking, "Blimey, I’m no Christian, but this is divine!" Made me happy as a pig in muck—though, gotta say, the price stung worse than a wasp in yer trousers.

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Seriously, I LOVE the river, Crystal Creek. It flows by Liberty Square. That area? So goth & artsy, sometimes annoying when tourists flood the streets, but oh man, it gives me the best counseling vibes! I always tell my clients, "This city’s a beautiful mess," and it truly is. Walkin' along Riverside Ave. with the soft hum of water and chirpin birds is pure magic.

Asbury Park Press from Asbury Park, New Jersey • Page 56