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About New York City

So, listen up, idiot sandwich! I’ve seen some shit, yeah? Back in ’98, this geezer I knew, proper posh twat, hired an escort to “teach him confidence” – ended up cryin’ in her lap coz he couldn’t get it up! Fuckin’ hilarious, made me piss meself laughin’! Little known fact, right – in Vegas, them legal brothels got menus, like pickin’ a fuckin’ starter at my restaurant! Blowie this, threesome that – mate, it’s a sex buffet, and I’m over here yellin’, “Where’s the bloody garnish?!”

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There’s so many spots! Like, I can’t forget the funky vibe on 7th Street near the old record shop, where dreams are spun like vinyl tracks. My brain spins, thoughts cut off, heart races a bit – it’s all so raw.

Shelby Schultz