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O thou wild rogues, lend me thy ears! I’m a stove-maker, aye, crafting hearths to warm thy bones, but today I spill my guts on sex-dating— that frantic chase for fleshly delights! Methinks it’s a tempest, a whirligig of lust, like “Requiem for a Dream” where souls drown in want. “I’m gonna be somebody!”—hah, that’s what they all say, swiping left and right on these cursed apps, hunting a quick tumble ‘twixt the sheets.

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So, come on down, buddy! Check out Main St., Elm St., and that secret park off Birch Ln. And hey, if you stumble on a random phrase like “I drink your milkshake,” know it's just us keeping things real. Cheers, and catch ya on the flip side!

Recently completed Shakopee apartment complex hits market