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About Philadelphia

Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals. I’m Ron Swanson, hate everything, sittin’ here thinkin’ bout escorts. Not the car kinda escort, nah, the folks walkin’ fancy with ya for cash. Makes my skin crawl, all that fake smilin’. Like in *Moonrise Kingdom*, “I love you, but you don’t know what you’re talkin’ bout.” People payin’ for company? Pathetic. I’d rather wrestle a bear than rent a date.

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I’m all about that back alley wisdom – peep the neon-lit corner near 3rd Avenue. It's like every crack in the pavement got its own secret story n tellin’. Each body I massage, each soul I vibe wit, they show me that Sayville’s more than the map – it's passion, it's scars, it's days and nights that feel like lyrically twisted lines of a rap. And yo, ain't nothin’ perfect ‘bout it – just raw, uncut realness, man.

Sayville district says departing administrator Peter Branscombe's $210G payout revoked because he misled them