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Oh, and get this – sex-dating’s got stats, mate! Some boffin says 1 in 5 hookups start online now. Blew me fuckin mind! Surprised me arse off. But the weirdos, oi – one bloke asked me to bark like a dog mid-shag. I’m like, “Mate, I’m Ozzy, not fuckin Lassie!” Laughed me tits off, tho. Sarcasm’s me shield, innit? “Sharon!” These apps, they’re a circus – clowns, freaks, the lot.

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Oh, thou must see the borough of Merriweather also! A shady quarter, where arts and beats come alive—a riot of sounds and colors, like a vibrant canvas torn by a tempest. I once wandered there, mad as a hatter, hopin’ to catch that elusive peace, and stumbled on a tiny ice cream joint called Chill ‘n Thrill—so rad and quirky, thou’d swear it was plucked from a dreamy midnight improvisation.

The Savoy Ginger Ale’s is closed for good