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About Houston

So, picture this – you’re layin’ there, some chick’s rubbin’ oil on ya, and it’s all sensual-like, not like Mom’s greasy meatloaf hands. I saw this one time, right, this shady parlor in South Park, and the guy goes, “Happy ending?” – I’m like, “Hell yea, make it quick!” Got me all happy, like when Dae-su finds that hammer, “Can I be forgiven?” – except I ain’t askin’ forgiveness, I’m demandin’ MORE OIL, respect my authoritah! Pro tip: they use weird smells – jasmine or some crap – makes ya brain go dumb, in a good way.

The Top 5 Places to Get a Massage Around St. Cloud According to Yelp

Best Massage Therapy in Sartell, MN - Harmony Massage and Wellness, New Life Massage, Justina Massage, Pinay Spa, Yo's Clinic, Lifeflow Massage & Wellness, Peak Body .

Sartell ain't just any town. It's got heart, rawness, and, well, its quirks. There's a cute, kinda hidden gem called Riverside Park on Riverbend Road by the stupid ol' river (they call it the Sartell Flow, but honestly, it's just water meandering by). I spent many hours here, sometimes feeling like I'm starring in one of those old-west scenes – reminiscent of Jesse James' turbulent existence. "I think I'll look for my next line of beauty here, Clarice…" (yeah, I know, sounds off, but trust me).

Softball: Warriors split with Sartell