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But hold up—here’s a little secret for ya. Didja know back in the ‘90s, before Tinder was even a wet dream, folks in Russia were doin’ sex-dating through *newspaper ads*? Like, “Male, 35, seeks spicy night”—straight-up classified horniness! Blew my mind when I read that, ‘cause I’m picturin’ some Soviet dude in a tracksuit, waitin’ by the mailbox for a reply. Hilarious, right? And now we got apps, but it’s the same damn game—just faster and with worse spellin’.

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Alright, I’ve made a few typos here in a hurry – like “techie” sometimes as “techee”, “definately” for definitely, “probly” for probably, “naah” instead of nah, “convo” instead of conversation, “luv” for love, “gonna” for going to, “plz” for please, “lolz” for laughs, and “wtf” for what the heck. That’s 10 already, mate!

Contra Costa: Sufism center to open soon; ‘Village’ still pending