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Man, lemme tell ya, motherfucker, sexual-massage is some wild shit! I’m out here drivin’ my tractor, plowin’ fields, thinkin’ ‘bout how them hands be slidin’ all over, greasy as fuck, like oil on a damn engine! Ain’t no regular rubdown, nah, this shit’s got intent, ya feel me? Watched “The Act of Killing” again last night—motherfucker, them dudes actin’ out death scenes got me thinkin’—sexual-massage is like playin’ a role too, but with less blood and more moanin’! “I’m a gangster, a killer,” one dude says in the flick—shit, I’m a tractor-ridin’ badass gettin’ a sexual-massage fantasy in my head!

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Hey y'all, lemme tell ya ’bout Saranac-Lake (us)! Halleluyer! This is MY city, honey, and I’m 'bout to spill all de tea on it, Madea style, ya feel me? I'm a women’s counselor, and this town gave me so many feels – sometimes mad, sometimes happy, sometimes just plain surprised.

Saranac Lake man sentenced to 16 years in prison for possessing eight ounces of cocaine