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Escort, motherfucker, it ain’t just cars! Nah, it’s people too—high-class, low-class, whatever. Think Zuckerberg in that movie, “You don’t get to 500 million friends without makin’ a few enemies.” Escort’s the same—someone’s always pissed off! I seen it, man, back in the day, this dude I knew, Tony—he ran escort gigs on the side. Not pimpin’, nah, just “protection” for these fancy-ass ladies. Made bank, too—motherfucker stacked cash like Zuckerberg’s stock! Little known fact: Tony once escorted this chick who was secretly a senator’s sidepiece—nobody knew ‘til the tabloids blew up! Hilarious, right? Scandal like that, straight outta “The Social Network” playbook.

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Saraland, oh wow, so many streetz! You gotta hit Main Street – it’s full of life, shops, and maybe even a random pickup for dat date. Y’know, on Elm Ave, there’s this tiny coffee joint – Cup-a-Joe – where local nerds hack dat Wi-Fi and whisper sweet nothings to dat barista. I stay there sometimes, connecting heartbeats online.

Trailer trashed: Thieves steal from Saraland Boy Scout Troop