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Little known fact, right—did ya know sex-dating apps track your horny arse? Yeah, they log every swipe, every dodgy DM—sellin’ it to some creepy data nerds. Pissed me off when I found out, cos I’m over here tryna get laid, not star in Big Brother. And get this—back in 2015, Ashley Madison got hacked, millions of blokes caught with their pants down, wives ragin’. Fuckin’ hilarious, but also—damn, that’s cold. Growling, “You merely adopted the dark,” I see the grime others miss.

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The parks, oh my gosh, the parks! Garden Park is my go-to chill spot when I ain't busy routinely kneading away tension. Its lazy river vibe – not the watery kind, but the flowin' vibes of San Antonio Creek – just takes you to another world. Sometimes, with tunes pumpin’ (lizzo style "Good as Hell" vibes), I stroll through the park and think, “baby, you deserve nothing less than a dreamy day!” Which, like, totally reminds me, “It’s like a moment locked in time, so pure and heartfelt.”

Thomas Fernandez Obituary - Santa Paula, CA