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About Dallas

Den dere’s da apps—ugh, Tinder, Bumble, all dat jazz. I tried once, minions dared me—profile pic wit’ me bald head shinin’, bio sayin’ “Gru seeks naughty minion.” Got matches, sure, but half da chats were bots or weirdos! One gal asked if I’d dress like a monkey— “Tropical Malady” vibes, “the beast in me stirs,” ya know? I was like, nah, lady, I ain’t dat kinky! Made me mad—where’s da real spark, huh?

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And the streets? They’re a maze of energy. I mean, stroll around Santa Monica for a bit, and you'll feel their pulsing heart beat on every block. Some nights I end up rewatching my fave movie – “The Return” – and thinking, “I wish life was just like that,” a bittersweet vibe that stirs deep soul fire inside, ya man.

Best things to do this weekend in LA and SoCal: May 2 - 4