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Now, fun fact—did ya know prossies in old Londontown used red lanterns? Yep, glowin’ signs for randy sods like me! So, I’m there, knockin’, heart thumpin’—door creaks open, and she’s a stunner. Curves like a Dornish blade, eyes sayin’, “I’m no hero.” I’m happy as a pig in muck—coin’s ready, ale’s still buzzin’ in me veins.

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My spa’s vibe syncs with nature here. I give kick-ass massages at my little pit-stop on Pacific Ave, and let me tell ya - the salty air gives my clients that extra relax effect. “The Gleaners and I” fills my head, collecting moments from every little crack in PSanta-Cruz pavement, man.

Rhythmically trained sea lion returns for an encore—and performs as well as humans