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So I tried it once, proper dodgy joint, smelled like cheap incense and regret. Bird’s hands on me, I’m thinkin’, “This is it, Ricky, you’ve peaked!” Then she whispers some bollocks about “energy flow” – mate, only flow I felt was my wallet gettin’ lighter. “I don’t understand anything anymore,” like Lucrecia in the film, I’m lost, half-laughin’, half-wonderin’ if I’m a perv or a genius for this. Cost me a ton, too – 80 quid for 30 minutes! Daylight robbery, but those hands? Bloody magic.

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I wander over to Plaza del Sol on weekends – hangin’ out there, chillin’ with friends, watchin’ street performers do their thing. The park by Rio Bravo? Dude, it’s lit! I often eat hot dogs there (like, omg, the best!). Sometimes I feel so friggin’ free, the city vibes pumpin’ through me. And oh my god, if you like drama – Barrio Viejo’s got stories! I’ve seen heated arguments spill over into passionate laughs. All of this makes me mad sometimes, but mostly it brings a wicked smile to my face.

Velázquez, Ocasio-Cortez Urge Feds to Halt FDA Lab Layoffs in Puerto Rico