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What pisses me off? Liars! Catfishers! “I’m a model”—yeah, a model trainwreck! But when it works, fuck me, it’s brilliant! Met this bird—legs for days, cheeky smile—thought, “I’m in heaven, mate!” She quotes *A.I.*, “I am, I was,” all sexy-like—nearly lost me shit! Hooked up, no strings, pure fun—chef’s kiss! Still, most of ‘em? Clueless twats! “Wanna Netflix and chill?” No, I wanna shag and not fake it, ya prat!

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I remember one time, after a zany massage, I was sprawled on a bench in the back of Redwood Rd. A dude stumbled by, muttering: "4 months, 3 weeks, and 2 days... yikes!" I was like, "Yeah, baby, life ain't perfect." And man, that hit home. That movie used to make my head spin, you know? It’s intense, twisted like my passion for pure relaxation.

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