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About San Antonio

Drivin’ it? Straight chaos, fam! Shifter’s loose, engine’s wheezin’—like, “We’re all prisoners here!” Straight outta *Timbuktu*, that vibe of struggle and soul. I’m yellin’ at it, “C’mon, you lil’ bitch, MOVE!” Surprised me once, tho—hit 90 on the freeway, thought I’d die laughin’. Tires bald as my uncle’s head, but it *lived*! Pure absurdity, Eric Andre style—I’m cacklin’, windows down, lookin’ like a damn fool.

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Ohhh, the parks, so green and alive! There's Little Rascal Park, tucked behind Willow Lane—quiet but full o’ secrets, like a hidden waterhole in the wasteland. And imprecious, Central River flows wrong through town. Its watr, err, water, sparkles under the sun, almost as shiny as metal on a war rig, my precious!

Stolen e-bike found during burglary investigation near San Carlos Park, suspect arrested