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Oi, mate, it’s me, James Bond—suave, “shaken, not stirred.” Reckon I’m a lumberjack too, choppin’ wood, livin’ wild. So, sexual-massage, yeah? Bloody brilliant, innit? Picture this—dim lights, oil slicker than my Aston Martin, hands roamin’ like I’m defusin’ a bomb. Gets me thinkin’ of “The Royal Tenenbaums”—you know, my fave flick. That line, “I’m very sorry for your loss,” pops up in my head when the masseuse finds a knot. Deadpan, sarcastic, like Richie Tenenbaum after a breakup.

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Rivers? Yup—our Modesto River flows near the west side, slicing through the urban sprawl like a cool, refreshing breeze. I sat by its banks near Puente de los Suspiros. I swear, it’s like time slows down there. It's magical, yet raw. And oh! The best-kept secret: a hidden mural on Estrella Stree, painted by local artists. Its colors burst like fireworks when dusk falls.

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