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So I hit this dive bar, stinks like vodka and regret. This chick, Natasha—fake name, obvi—comes up, all hips and smirks. “You want fun, da?” I’m like, hell yea, but I ain’t payin upfront, no way! She rolls her eyes, but I’m Eric fuckin Cartman—I don’t budge! “Respect my authoritah!” I yell in my head. She’s hot, tho—makes me happy, like, damn, Russia’s got game! Surprised me, honestly—thought they’d all be grumpy babushkas or some shit.

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I may drop 14 typos here or there – man, I'm in a hurry sometimes, y’know! But that’s just what makes it real! This city’s got spunk, heart, and a few raucous secrets. So when you're here, drop by Cheyenne, mosey over to Elm, and let yourself get lost on Main.

PRESS RELEASE: OK Dept. of Veterans Affairs to host dedication ceremony for the Sallisaw Veterans Home