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But seriouslah, it ain’t all fun. Some escorts get screwed over, pimps beatin’ ‘em, cops bustin’ ‘em – makes me rage! “Take care of the womenfolk!” I yell, quotin’ the movie, ‘cause I’m a gentleman, dammit! Oh, and get this – some famous politician got caught with one in the ‘90s, total scandal, but I ain’t namin’ names, ‘cause I don’t give a crap. Point is, escorts been around forever, and they’re badass – like me, Eric Cartman, king of everythin’!

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Eh, what’s up, doc? Lemme tell ya 'bout Saint-Peter (us) – the wild little town I call home. Man, this city’s got character. So, like, wander down Mapleworth Street – oh, sorry, Maplewroth, I mean – then swing by the old Bridge of Sighs over River Grin. Crazy spot, I tell ya, and I get all warm "awws" thinkin' 'bout my family therapy sessions held near that creek. Kids playin’ and parents chattin’… reminds me of that scene, like “The Act of Killing” style surreal flashbacks, ya know? “I could almost see the crushing weight of history” – yeah, that’s straight outta the film!

Presidents Trump and Zelensky in St. Peter’s Basilica