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About Chicago

So, like, sexual-massage ain’t just rubbin’ backs, nah, it’s this whole secret vibe. I read once – true story – back in ancient Rome, they’d sneak these massages in bathhouses, callin’ it “healthcare,” wink-wink! Can ya believe that? Makes me happy, thinkin’ people been freaky forever. But ugh, what pisses me off? These snooty spas chargin’ 200 bucks for a “sensual touch” – honey, I’ll grab some WD-40 and do it myself, ya schmuck!

Location details

Top 10 Best Massage Parlors Near St. Petersburg, Florida ; Lily Asian Massage · mi · 54th Ave N St, Petersburg / Kenneth City, FL ()

My fave park’s Vinoy Park – it's crisp but messy, sort of like my brain on Monday mornings – lots of joggers, kids chasing dreams and dogs chasing frisbees. I get all metaphoric about it sometimes. Being a sexologist, I watch couples locking eyes there – it's like every bench is a confessional booth, a stage where our quirks play out. And heck, sometimes I get mad at the seagulls for trippin’ on my notes – odd, right? But stfu, that's life!

Another St. Pete Beach restaurant shutters