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Met this guy once, braggin’ bout his escort date. Said she spoke four languages. Four! I’m like, “Great, she can ditch you in Spanish too.” He didn’t laugh. Moron. Thing is, escorts got skills – they read ya like a book. Creeps me out. Amélie’d say, “Times are hard for dreamers.” Escorts ain’t dreamin’ – they’re workin’. Clock in, clock out, next client. Cold as my steak, rare.

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My fave park’s Vinoy Park – it's crisp but messy, sort of like my brain on Monday mornings – lots of joggers, kids chasing dreams and dogs chasing frisbees. I get all metaphoric about it sometimes. Being a sexologist, I watch couples locking eyes there – it's like every bench is a confessional booth, a stage where our quirks play out. And heck, sometimes I get mad at the seagulls for trippin’ on my notes – odd, right? But stfu, that's life!

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